Falacies of Analogy

NTDEV
1

Computers vs Cars!

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent
computer conference Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
just love this part):

  1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

  2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
    to buy a new car.

  3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
    You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
    the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
    before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
    this.

  4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
    cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
    you would have to reinstall the engine.

  5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
    run on only five percent of the roads.

  6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
    all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an
    IllegalOperation” warning light.

  7. The airbag system ! would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

  8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
    out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
    door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

  9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
    learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
    would operate in the same manner as the old car.

  10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

  11. IBM would make a car that is powered by OPEN resources like steam
    engine(wood and water). Speech enabled only on failure to say -
    “IT is better manually(IBM), We are sorry for minor
    inconvenience, but we believe in push technology,
    did it for 50 yrears to users without loosing customers’ faith,
    please push to the destination”.

  12. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
    hate - their computer!

-pro

2

“Let’s exit the car and enter it once more” - the joke on Russian
programmer in the failed car.

Maxim Shatskih, Windows DDK MVP
StorageCraft Corporation
xxxxx@storagecraft.com
http://www.storagecraft.com

----- Original Message -----
From: “Prokash Sinha”
To: “Windows System Software Devs Interest List”
Sent: Sunday, August 01, 2004 9:12 AM
Subject: [ntdev] Falacies of Analogy

>
> Computers vs Cars!
>
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
> way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent
> computer conference Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
> industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with
> technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
>
> In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
> release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
> just love this part):
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> to buy a new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
> the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
> before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
> this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
> cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
> you would have to reinstall the engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
> run on only five percent of the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an
> IllegalOperation” warning light.
>
> 7. The airbag system ! would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
> door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
> would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
>
> 11. IBM would make a car that is powered by OPEN resources like steam
> engine(wood and water). Speech enabled only on failure to say -
> “IT is better manually(IBM), We are sorry for minor
> inconvenience, but we believe in push technology,
> did it for 50 yrears to users without loosing customers’ faith,
> please push to the destination”.
>
> 12. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
> hate - their computer!
>
> -pro
> ______________________________________________________________
>
>
>
> —
> Questions? First check the Kernel Driver FAQ at
http://www.osronline.com/article.cfm?id=256
>
> You are currently subscribed to ntdev as: xxxxx@storagecraft.com
> To unsubscribe send a blank email to xxxxx@lists.osr.com

3

I guess I’m wondering why you are remailing to the list an 8 year old joke?

–
Don Burn (MVP, Windows DDK)
Windows 2k/XP/2k3 Filesystem and Driver Consulting

“Prokash Sinha” wrote in message news:xxxxx@ntdev…
>
> Computers vs Cars!
>
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
> way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent
> computer conference Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
> industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with
> technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
>
> In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
> release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
> just love this part):
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> to buy a new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
> the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
> before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
> this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
> cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
> you would have to reinstall the engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
> run on only five percent of the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an
> IllegalOperation” warning light.
>
> 7. The airbag system ! would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
> door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
> would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
>
> 11. IBM would make a car that is powered by OPEN resources like steam
> engine(wood and water). Speech enabled only on failure to say -
> “IT is better manually(IBM), We are sorry for minor
> inconvenience, but we believe in push technology,
> did it for 50 yrears to users without loosing customers’ faith,
> please push to the destination”.
>
> 12. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
> hate - their computer!
>
> -pro
> ______________________________________________________________
>
>
>

4

That goes as another feature :slight_smile:

-pro

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxx@lists.osr.com
[mailto:xxxxx@lists.osr.com]On Behalf Of Maxim S. Shatskih
Sent: Saturday, July 31, 2004 10:26 PM
To: Windows System Software Devs Interest List
Subject: Re: [ntdev] Falacies of Analogy

“Let’s exit the car and enter it once more” - the joke on Russian
programmer in the failed car.

Maxim Shatskih, Windows DDK MVP
StorageCraft Corporation
xxxxx@storagecraft.com
http://www.storagecraft.com

----- Original Message -----
From: “Prokash Sinha”
To: “Windows System Software Devs Interest List”
Sent: Sunday, August 01, 2004 9:12 AM
Subject: [ntdev] Falacies of Analogy

>
> Computers vs Cars!
>
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
> way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent
> computer conference Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
> industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with
> technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
>
> In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
> release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
> just love this part):
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> to buy a new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
> the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
> before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
> this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
> cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
> you would have to reinstall the engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
> run on only five percent of the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an
> IllegalOperation” warning light.
>
> 7. The airbag system ! would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
> door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
> would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
>
> 11. IBM would make a car that is powered by OPEN resources like steam
> engine(wood and water). Speech enabled only on failure to say -
> “IT is better manually(IBM), We are sorry for minor
> inconvenience, but we believe in push technology,
> did it for 50 yrears to users without loosing customers’ faith,
> please push to the destination”.
>
> 12. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
> hate - their computer!
>
> -pro
> ______________________________________________________________
>
>
>
> —
> Questions? First check the Kernel Driver FAQ at
http://www.osronline.com/article.cfm?id=256
>
> You are currently subscribed to ntdev as: xxxxx@storagecraft.com
> To unsubscribe send a blank email to xxxxx@lists.osr.com

—
Questions? First check the Kernel Driver FAQ at
http://www.osronline.com/article.cfm?id=256

You are currently subscribed to ntdev as: xxxxx@garlic.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to xxxxx@lists.osr.com

5

It apparently happened in April of 1998. So this would be a 6-year old
joke. 8)

Mat

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxx@lists.osr.com
[mailto:xxxxx@lists.osr.com] On Behalf Of Don Burn
Sent: Monday, August 02, 2004 10:04 AM
To: Windows System Software Devs Interest List
Subject: Re:[ntdev] Falacies of Analogy

I guess I’m wondering why you are remailing to the list an 8 year old joke?

–
Don Burn (MVP, Windows DDK)
Windows 2k/XP/2k3 Filesystem and Driver Consulting

“Prokash Sinha” wrote in message news:xxxxx@ntdev…
>
> Computers vs Cars!
>
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
> way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent
> computer conference Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
> industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with
> technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
>
> In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
> release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
> just love this part):
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> to buy a new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
> the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
> before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
> this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
> cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
> you would have to reinstall the engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
> run on only five percent of the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an
> IllegalOperation” warning light.
>
> 7. The airbag system ! would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
> door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
> would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
>
> 11. IBM would make a car that is powered by OPEN resources like steam
> engine(wood and water). Speech enabled only on failure to say -
> “IT is better manually(IBM), We are sorry for minor
> inconvenience, but we believe in push technology,
> did it for 50 yrears to users without loosing customers’ faith,
> please push to the destination”.
>
> 12. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
> hate - their computer!
>
> -pro
> ______________________________________________________________
>
>
>

—
Questions? First check the Kernel Driver FAQ at
http://www.osronline.com/article.cfm?id=256

You are currently subscribed to ntdev as: xxxxx@encentrus.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to xxxxx@lists.osr.com

6

To me it was new :). Dont worry I would not send anymore, since there is
noway I can check if it is old or new.

Google, or msn search or yahoo or alta vista should really comeup with
better indexing :slight_smile: For now shoot to the /dev/null

-pro

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxx@lists.osr.com
[mailto:xxxxx@lists.osr.com]On Behalf Of Don Burn
Sent: Monday, August 02, 2004 7:04 AM
To: Windows System Software Devs Interest List
Subject: Re:[ntdev] Falacies of Analogy

I guess I’m wondering why you are remailing to the list an 8 year old joke?

Questions? First check the Kernel Driver FAQ at
http://www.osronline.com/article.cfm?id=256

You are currently subscribed to ntdev as: xxxxx@garlic.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to xxxxx@lists.osr.com

7

So … a mathmetician, and engineer, and a programmer are having a motoring
holiday in the Alps. One day after they have driven over the top of a high
pass and are descending the steep incline into the valley below the brakes
fail. By some good fortune and a little skill all three and car come to rest
at the bottom of the valley. The three agree that things have come to a
pretty pass (sic) and that each should apply his technical discipline to the
problem. Some short while later the inevitable debate starts with the
mathematician who opens his notebook full of scribbled equations and
explains that his generalised tensor algebraic approach has allowed him to
prove that the problem has at least one solution. The engineer becomes
impatient here and as he opens his new Swiss Army knife explains that all he
has to do is tighten the sprocket, adjust the nipple, (well I dont know too
much about the names of bits of cars so …) … The programmer stares in
disbelief at both of the others and says “hey, guys, maybe this was just a
glitch, why dont we take the car up the top and see if it happens again”.

“Prokash Sinha” wrote in message news:xxxxx@ntdev…
>
> Computers vs Cars!
>
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
> way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent
> computer conference Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
> industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with
> technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
>
> In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
> release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
> just love this part):
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> to buy a new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
> the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
> before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
> this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
> cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
> you would have to reinstall the engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
> run on only five percent of the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an
> IllegalOperation” warning light.
>
> 7. The airbag system ! would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
> door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
> would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
>
> 11. IBM would make a car that is powered by OPEN resources like steam
> engine(wood and water). Speech enabled only on failure to say -
> “IT is better manually(IBM), We are sorry for minor
> inconvenience, but we believe in push technology,
> did it for 50 yrears to users without loosing customers’ faith,
> please push to the destination”.
>
> 12. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
> hate - their computer!
>
> -pro
> ______________________________________________________________
>
>
>

8

A repeat, I did not see the another msg I posted against Don’s Q. It was new to me, so flushed out. Next time I will have make sure that it is absolutely new, and somewhat sane :).

In any case, if anyone try to really track how old it was, give me a real number not like 6 or 8, time really maps well to real number system, not even floating point, does not matter how big are the storage unit(s) :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

I got the msg !!!

-pro

9

Here’s a link for people interested in programmer’s jokes.
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke20.htm

There! Don’t need to post any more…

Mat

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxx@lists.osr.com
[mailto:xxxxx@lists.osr.com] On Behalf Of Lyndon J Clarke
Sent: Monday, August 02, 2004 11:46 AM
To: Windows System Software Devs Interest List
Subject: Re:[ntdev] Falacies of Analogy

So … a mathmetician, and engineer, and a programmer are having a motoring
holiday in the Alps. One day after they have driven over the top of a high
pass and are descending the steep incline into the valley below the brakes
fail. By some good fortune and a little skill all three and car come to rest
at the bottom of the valley. The three agree that things have come to a
pretty pass (sic) and that each should apply his technical discipline to the
problem. Some short while later the inevitable debate starts with the
mathematician who opens his notebook full of scribbled equations and
explains that his generalised tensor algebraic approach has allowed him to
prove that the problem has at least one solution. The engineer becomes
impatient here and as he opens his new Swiss Army knife explains that all he
has to do is tighten the sprocket, adjust the nipple, (well I dont know too
much about the names of bits of cars so …) … The programmer stares in
disbelief at both of the others and says “hey, guys, maybe this was just a
glitch, why dont we take the car up the top and see if it happens again”.

“Prokash Sinha” wrote in message news:xxxxx@ntdev…
>
> Computers vs Cars!
>
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
> way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent
> computer conference Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
> industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with
> technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
>
> In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press
> release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
> just love this part):
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> to buy a new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
> the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
> before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
> this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
> cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
> you would have to reinstall the engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
> run on only five percent of the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an
> IllegalOperation” warning light.
>
> 7. The airbag system ! would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
> door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
> would operate in the same manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
>
> 11. IBM would make a car that is powered by OPEN resources like steam
> engine(wood and water). Speech enabled only on failure to say -
> “IT is better manually(IBM), We are sorry for minor
> inconvenience, but we believe in push technology,
> did it for 50 yrears to users without loosing customers’ faith,
> please push to the destination”.
>
> 12. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
> hate - their computer!
>
> -pro
> ______________________________________________________________
>
>
>

—
Questions? First check the Kernel Driver FAQ at
http://www.osronline.com/article.cfm?id=256

You are currently subscribed to ntdev as: xxxxx@encentrus.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to xxxxx@lists.osr.com